Aha Moment...

As I was huffing and wheezing my way through night three of the first c25k week last night, I had a realization...

I am immensely proud of myself and what I've accomplished so far.

I haven't lost a ton of weight (only 4.4 pounds at last weigh in), and I've only been doing the c25k program for one week, so it hasn't been long enough to pat myself on the back, but I'm motivated, I have been eating better, I feel TONS better just getting my fat ass off the couch...and, for now, that's enough for me.

I WILL get below 220 this week...

If I don't, I'll be really frustrated. I've been walking or running/walking every night. I've been meticulous about my points. Truth is, I'm kind of having fun with this. I hope my enthusiasm doesn't wane. I've been here before.

I think one of the things driving me, oddly enough, is Facebook. In the last few months I've reestablished friendships with many of my childhood and highschool friends online. It's the first time I've had to deal with..."oh, my god...I don't want to post pictures! My high school boyfriend, who still sees me as I was when I was 17, won't even recognize me!" None of us wants to be THAT GIRL. You know the one...the girl who gained the weight and nobody recognizes her at the reunion. I avoided my 20 year reunion - partly because of that, but also because I just wasn't than interested in reconnecting. Well, I'm at a different point in my life and I'm really enjoying catching up with folks. The inevitable...FB is great, but why don't we get together conversation is bound to happen and I don't want to look like this when it does. I met with two of my childhood friends last week and I was so self-conscious about the way I looked that I couldn't even enjoy my time with them as much as I should. That's just sad to me.

By the time it happens again, I want to be excited about seeing everyone. But more importantly, I don't want to feel bad about them seeing me.

Well...It could've been worse.

This week was a tough weight loss week. Nick's birthday (and associated birthday cake) added on to eating out three times made it a challenge. Overall, though, I think I did reasonably well under the pressure. I only lost .4 pounds, but at least it's going in the right direction! Haha.

Start 227.8
Current 223.4

Total 4.4

Down Four!

Yesterday was our first weigh in at WW at Work. Down four pounds! I'm really proud that the first week went so well and I feel motivated going into this week. Added bonus this week is that we're going skiing, so that's burning off some calories that I wouldn't normally burn on a Friday!

Start 227.8
Current 223.8

Total Lost 4

I think I'm drowning myself...

I hate when you first start to try to lose weight and your body isn't used to the huge water consumption. I've been drinking so much water the last few days, I feel like I'm going to float away...

On another note...it's only been two days (this is day three), but so far, all is well. Nick has even jumped on the bandwagon and is helping me track points. This is a good thing, because writing things down has always been an effort and an area that I tend to slack off. When I slack off, I tend not to do as well. Yesterday, I picked him up from school and the first words out of his mouth were, "let me see your tracker". He proceeded to analyze everything I ate over the course of the day! Hilarious. If it was anyone else, I think it would annoy me, but because it's him, I just thought it was cute. He did determine that I did a "good job, mom". So, that could account for why it's okay!

Two Steps Back, One Step Forward

Yeah, I know...It's supposed to be the other way around. I stopped the running effort for a couple of reasons that I won't bother detailing here, but the important thing is that this blog is going to turn into a different kind of diary.

The new year brought a renewed sense of determination...

today is day 1 of WW. I'm starting at 227.8 lbs., which is just totally ridiculous. When I watch The Biggest Loser and I see girls that weigh that much, I don't see myself looking like them. I guess I really do. So, it was an eye opener to see that number being written down on the sheet of paper. Ugh. I guess I have my work cut out for me.

Some things to motivate me if I need inspiration:
Mike's "oh, my God...she's huge!" reaction to the girls when they weigh in on TBL
Carl's Cameron Manheim comment
The fact I couldn't find a picture (or take a picture) of myself that I wanted to post on my FB page.
My extra chin that appears in every picture I see of myself
Nicholas

We're going to be starting a c25k program here at work, so that'll work it's way back into the writings.