when will I learn?

If I had a dollar for every time I've tried to start something new to get healthy...

I'd like to say this time is different, but truth be told, I don't have tons of confidence in myself. I've failed so many times that I'm not sure what makes me think this time will be different. I guess the easiest way to look at it is to say that I'm tired of being a spectator. I'm tired of being the one who goes to road races to take pictures of friends and family who are running. I'm tired of being "the fat mom". I'm tired of being the invisible one when I'm out with my friends. I'm tired of saying "I hate to shop" when the honest statement is that I hate to shop for me. I want to shop in the regular stores. I'm tired of being winded from just walking up a flight of stairs. I'm tired of being the one who has a hard time on the hike. Most importantly, I'm tired of setting a bad example for my kids. I don't want N to be in the same situation I'm in 30 years from now.

So, here we go again.

Last night. Day 1, Week 1
N ran with me. He was much faster than me, which is probably good because it pushed me (and my ego wouldn't let me quit!). It was freezing cold, but nice out. I'm pretty embarrassed that it was as hard as it was. Boy, am I out of shape. I found several podcasts designed specifically for the program and that definitely helps -not having to clock watch while I go is nice. Especially since it's so dark outside when I go. Eventually, I'd like to run to my own music - way more enjoyable - but, for now, this works.