1.29.2009

I WILL get below 220 this week...

If I don't, I'll be really frustrated. I've been walking or running/walking every night. I've been meticulous about my points. Truth is, I'm kind of having fun with this. I hope my enthusiasm doesn't wane. I've been here before.

I think one of the things driving me, oddly enough, is Facebook. In the last few months I've reestablished friendships with many of my childhood and highschool friends online. It's the first time I've had to deal with..."oh, my god...I don't want to post pictures! My high school boyfriend, who still sees me as I was when I was 17, won't even recognize me!" None of us wants to be THAT GIRL. You know the one...the girl who gained the weight and nobody recognizes her at the reunion. I avoided my 20 year reunion - partly because of that, but also because I just wasn't than interested in reconnecting. Well, I'm at a different point in my life and I'm really enjoying catching up with folks. The inevitable...FB is great, but why don't we get together conversation is bound to happen and I don't want to look like this when it does. I met with two of my childhood friends last week and I was so self-conscious about the way I looked that I couldn't even enjoy my time with them as much as I should. That's just sad to me.

By the time it happens again, I want to be excited about seeing everyone. But more importantly, I don't want to feel bad about them seeing me.

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