Rambling Thoughts

I went out and ran the 5k route again today. It really is a beautiful run and I wish I could get all the way through it. Seems like the hills all hit at the wrong times! So, I still stopped and walked three times, but I shortened the walking and stretched the running. I just wouldn't let myself stop at the same places as last time...even if it was just ten steps further! And then, I started running again earlier than last time...even if it was just ten steps closer! :) Like I've said before, this is a mental game for me. All in all, I'm feeling pretty good about it. I have no idea if I can push myself to the full 5k in three weeks, but I need to figure out how to get okay with myself if I have to walk any of it. Right now, I'd be lying if I didn't admit I would feel a bit of failure if I have to walk. I've been working so hard for so long...I don't want to walk any of it!

Today, my mother commented on how much thinner my face is getting. Seems like a small thing and I could probably write several blog entries about my mom and the emotional baggage (which is probably why it WASN'T a small thing)...it was an important moment for me.

I went back and read through some of my old posts and it made me smile. I've come a long way in a relatively short time. It's good to reflect on it. Many of my initial goals are the same, and I'm a little closer to accomplishing some of them. I have a long way to go, but it was nice to reflect on the progress. A few other things I've noticed:

• I need to buy new jeans, which means I've technically gone down a size, but I don't want to spend the money. Primarily because I don't want to be in this size for long...so, I'm trying to decide if I just walk around in baggy jeans a little longer and then skip two sizes when I go to buy them.
• If I go down two sizes, I'll be back in the "regular store", which btw, was the name of my old blog. I love that name..."The Regular Store"...because it represents what the original driver was for me. Maybe I'll change this to "The Regular Store Redux".
• I need to tell my Camryn Manheim story on here. Coming soon...
• My knees don't hurt nearly as badly as they used to, which I find kind of funny since everyone has told me how bad running is for your knees! I guess not as bad as carrying the extra weight around.
• People telling me they're proud of me is almost as important as hearing compliments about the weight loss...maybe more...I guess this circles back around to what I said about the volumes I could write about my mom and the baggage. See how I did that? See how it's all connected? haha.
• I wonder if I can motivate myself to run the bridge run next year (10K)? That also makes me laugh since I haven't even managed a 5k yet!