7:00am – a nervous wreck. I wake up and I’m the only one in the house that’s awake. M and N are still asleep, but they’ll be getting up soon to go to Winston for a soccer tournament. C is still asleep, but he’ll be getting up soon to go to Fayetteville for his tournament (being pawned off on a friend since I’m running in the race and M is going with N). I’m so nervous, I don’t want coffee and I really don’t want to eat. I had planned to eat oatmeal and a banana, but opted for two fiber one muffins instead. Probably not the breakfast of champions, but it’s all I can stomach. I fill up a thing of water, hit the road. I parked at the office so I could run in and use the bathroom before I head down the street to sign in and get my chip/number. I find L, my running partner/coach, and we slowly head over to the start of the race. One of the drawback/advantages of running a race a block from my campus (office) is that I know WAY too many people. From the volunteers, to the runners, to the people there to cheer…I knew tons of people. That’s great in terms of having a cheering squad, but for a new runner like me it’s a bit intimidating. At the start line, they sent a lot of the younger runners to the back of the pack (where I had conveniently placed myself so as not to get in anyone’s way…) This drove me nuts because it meant I was going to have to deal with dozens of 8-10 year olds flying past me during the first mile. L pointed out, and accurately so in retrospect, that we would pass many of them further down the road as they burn out from sprinting too fast at the start.
8:30 – the race. It was an overcast and VERY humid day. But, the temperature was good – not too hot. The first mile was okay, the second mile was brutal (it includes a half-mile uphill stretch), and the third mile just about killed me. I felt like I was moving very slowly and I really was having trouble keeping my breathing in control. There’s a steep uphill at the end of the first mile and it took me all the way to the huge hill in mile two to regain breath control. I was so thankful for L, who spent a good part of the second half of the race, reminding me to breath in and out deeply and to banish all negative thoughts. I think there were around three points along the way that I would’ve stopped if she hadn’t been running with me. The last stretch of mile three is a straight shot up the final road, so once I turned onto that road, I knew I’d finish…even if it did kill me. There’s no way I’d make it to the last road and then walk. I felt the adrenaline kick in and L kept saying, “you’re really speeding up and you don’t have to do that. Slow and steady.” All I could think of was, “the faster I run, the sooner this will be over!”
9:10ish – the finish line. So, I’m slow. I know that. And, truthfully, I’m okay with it. I really want to be faster and that will be my next goal. But, considering my calf was strained (I felt no pain, by the way…I guess the adrenaline really masked the pain because I’ve been hurting really badly ever since) and it was my first race, I’m content. The official time of 40.22 was my personal best. Significantly. My best prior time was 44.14, so although I felt like I was going slowly, I guess I wasn’t going as slowly as I felt! I didn’t come in last place. I was relieved it was over. I was proud that I did it without walking a step (thanks, in large part to my running partner/coach/conscience haha). I, quite honestly, was amazed with myself that I did it. And, most importantly, I finished something I started. That probably means more to me than any other part of it. I notoriously start and don’t finish everything in my life…projects around the house, losing weight, tasks at work…you name it…it’s been a thorn in my side my whole life. This was symbolic to me in the sense that I’ve proven to myself that I can do it. I can finish what I set out to do.
I didn’t lose a pound this week. In fact, I gained .6 It just didn’t matter. I accomplished a much bigger goal this week and I wouldn’t trade it for a pound or two to save my life. I’ll lose weight this week. In fact, I’ve got more focus this week than I have in a while. And all because of that one 5k race. I’ve given myself a week off. My leg needs a chance to heal and I need a chance to set a new goal. I think I’ve got my sites on a nighttime run in July in a nearby town. Another 5k where, hopefully, I can get a better time. My runner friends tell me it’s addictive. I wouldn’t go that far yet, but I do think I’ll be ready to get back out there and run some more in a few more days. That in and of itself is huge to me…the fact that I WANT to get back out there and run some more. Crazy.
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